Ladakh.....

Recently I came back from a land, they call, "the cold desert", Ladakh. Just on my return journey I told myself, that I have to write something about this paradise. So here goes...

I have been wanting to visit the himalayas, the monastries, meet the young "lamas", experience the snow, for quite some time now. Since the time the Ladakh trip was being planned, I was very excited and all geared up for it. But when I actually started my trip (from srinagar via sonamarg-zojila pass-drass-kargil) everything was much more beautiful and incredibly fabulous, than I had expected. Ladakh is probably one of those very rare places, after you visit, that you feel, so complete, utterly satisfied. There are definately breathtakingly amazing places in the world, there is no doubt about that. But there is something about this region of Jammu & Kashmir, something that would make your heart skip a beat. For since my return, I have still not gotten over the trip, its like the most fabulous hangover ever!

You visit places, appreciate the beauty, come back, see the pictures, share it with people, talk about the place to them and then thats about it. Ladakh for me is all this and much much beyond that. It is beyond the beauty, beyond the landscapes, beyond the snow, beyond the mountains. One might wonder, what was so different and exclusive about Ladakh? But when I sit back and ponder, it brings a smile on my face. It gives me happiness. I cannot get over the pictures. The place cant get any better, I guess.

The most amazing time I had and enjoyed myself thouroughly was at Lamayuru, the oldest & the largest monastry there. I remember we reached the Gompa (ladakhi word for monastry) sometime around dusk. The sky was clear, the sun setting. The houses, which were located on the slopes of the mountain and the monastry on the top, looked its best then. The moment we entered the area, holy and divine air filled the atmosphere. Everything about the place was so soothing, so calm, so serene. Suddenly I felt so light, so relaxed. We saw young lamas walking down the road, smiling albeit shy and waving, "juley juley" (ladakhi word for hello/welcome) at us.

The next day I went inside the monastry and was fortunate to having being able to witness the prayer, which was so perfect. The chanting made the entire ambience so pure, so holy. I am not a very religious person nor was the entire experience very religious I would say, it was rather more or less spiritual, an upliftment from your normal being. It was like reaching a level where you have no worries and all you experience is sheer bliss.

This trip of mine has changed so much, for good of course. I have become calmer, less anxious/hyper of things, I worried about too much earlier. It feels that my outlook towards a lot of things has changed and I like that. I am glad I went there and so much changed. This place will stay with me for the rest of my life.

Its like you can leave ladakh but ladakh will never leave you!

Happy Birthday Ma.....

Today is my mother's birthday. It is not a great day that people should celebrate or take note of. Nor is my mom "Mother India" that January the 8th is a date that needs to be incorporated in the history of India. It is just another day, for the world maybe. But for me it is one of the most important or the most special day of my life. Why? You shall know why!

My mother is not god. She is a mortal being and is bound to make mistakes. Why cant she? Coz she is a daughter, a sister, a wife, a daughter-in-law and a mother. So many relations, so many bondages, so many responsibilities till she comes to realise that she is a woman first. A woman with herown aspirations, dreams, fantasies and dislikes.

Like every mother she has always been giving, sacrificing, considerate, loving and caring. Like every mother she has been a friend, a companion and a teacher (literally in her case coz she is actually a teacher) She has fulfilled all the characteristics of motherhood ( I was going to say "ideal mother" but then it occurred to me that the word "mother" itself encompasses everything
) of being the ultimate replica of warmth and love. So whats so great about tha, you would ask. That is how it "should be". This is what we grow up assuming. Something we take for granted. It took me 22 years to realise that why wouldnt she be allowed to shun all the responsibilities, live the way she wants, not get up at 5 in the morning coz her kid has her board exam or discontinue the cable connection coz her kid needs to study or not clean the mess in the kitchen at 12 in the night after her kid's birthday party. I am aware that my saying all this is not going to change much nor am I trying to make a point nor have I been an ideal daughter and not expected the world from her. I have. I shamfully admit that I have hurt her, made her angry, driven her nuts. Sometimes I have also been selfish coz I wanted to keep her all to myself not realising that she would want to go out or do what she wants.

But today I want to tell my mother that ma please do not restrict or deter yourself from doing whatever you want. I know you love travelling and I am aware that all the lovely places in the world that you have the knowledge of, are through books. So dont hold yourself back from going ahead just because your children need you or your husband needs you. This is something which will constantly comtinue to persist. Now its high time you live your life, empress size;-) I will continue to be possesive about you and still want to keep you to myself but would never want to an obstacle in your path.

So when I say that my mother means the world to me, I genuinely mean it. Because today when I am on my own, making my own decisions, I can sense a part of her with me always. She has inculcated in me the right values and has taught me to be independent and to have my own identity.

She is this 21 st century woman, pragmatic in her thoughts yet so deeply rooted in her traditions. So today when I stand in front of the mirror ready to step out and face the world, it is not just me who is all set and ready to go, it is the 22 year old journey with my mother, that has made this day possible. A grand salute to the woman, with such dignity and poise,with no complaints and expectations, who has changed and groomed my life so well, who's mere existence brings happiness in our lives, who doesnt have to pretend to be so amazing, coz thats the way she is!

Happy birthday ma. I wish you all the happiness in the world.