Happy Birthday Ma.....

Today is my mother's birthday. It is not a great day that people should celebrate or take note of. Nor is my mom "Mother India" that January the 8th is a date that needs to be incorporated in the history of India. It is just another day, for the world maybe. But for me it is one of the most important or the most special day of my life. Why? You shall know why!

My mother is not god. She is a mortal being and is bound to make mistakes. Why cant she? Coz she is a daughter, a sister, a wife, a daughter-in-law and a mother. So many relations, so many bondages, so many responsibilities till she comes to realise that she is a woman first. A woman with herown aspirations, dreams, fantasies and dislikes.

Like every mother she has always been giving, sacrificing, considerate, loving and caring. Like every mother she has been a friend, a companion and a teacher (literally in her case coz she is actually a teacher) She has fulfilled all the characteristics of motherhood ( I was going to say "ideal mother" but then it occurred to me that the word "mother" itself encompasses everything
) of being the ultimate replica of warmth and love. So whats so great about tha, you would ask. That is how it "should be". This is what we grow up assuming. Something we take for granted. It took me 22 years to realise that why wouldnt she be allowed to shun all the responsibilities, live the way she wants, not get up at 5 in the morning coz her kid has her board exam or discontinue the cable connection coz her kid needs to study or not clean the mess in the kitchen at 12 in the night after her kid's birthday party. I am aware that my saying all this is not going to change much nor am I trying to make a point nor have I been an ideal daughter and not expected the world from her. I have. I shamfully admit that I have hurt her, made her angry, driven her nuts. Sometimes I have also been selfish coz I wanted to keep her all to myself not realising that she would want to go out or do what she wants.

But today I want to tell my mother that ma please do not restrict or deter yourself from doing whatever you want. I know you love travelling and I am aware that all the lovely places in the world that you have the knowledge of, are through books. So dont hold yourself back from going ahead just because your children need you or your husband needs you. This is something which will constantly comtinue to persist. Now its high time you live your life, empress size;-) I will continue to be possesive about you and still want to keep you to myself but would never want to an obstacle in your path.

So when I say that my mother means the world to me, I genuinely mean it. Because today when I am on my own, making my own decisions, I can sense a part of her with me always. She has inculcated in me the right values and has taught me to be independent and to have my own identity.

She is this 21 st century woman, pragmatic in her thoughts yet so deeply rooted in her traditions. So today when I stand in front of the mirror ready to step out and face the world, it is not just me who is all set and ready to go, it is the 22 year old journey with my mother, that has made this day possible. A grand salute to the woman, with such dignity and poise,with no complaints and expectations, who has changed and groomed my life so well, who's mere existence brings happiness in our lives, who doesnt have to pretend to be so amazing, coz thats the way she is!

Happy birthday ma. I wish you all the happiness in the world.

Randomness...

Last evening I went for a very beautiful movie..No thats not the word..hmmm..Or should I say relevant..practical..very fresh actually..The movie was "wake up Sid"

My 1st idea about the movie was that it must be on the similar lines of Lakshya-the journey of a boy to becoming a man.Which the movie is but the way the writer has displayed it is different.The character of this college going dude s shaped really well.But I liked "ayesha" more.Probably coz it felt closer to reality.Sid's metamorphosis was kinda quite obvious I thought.The boy sooner or later was going to realise his dream/goal but ayesha (played by konkana sen sharma)felt more real,closer to you.She plays this 21st century girl with some morales & principles,who knows what she wants,who is independent with her strong beliefs etc etc.Yet there is something missing.

You know sometimes we display something what we should be displaying although we are not actually that.We do that coz we need to be head strong to face this rough world.But we do forget that there is a child hidden inside each one of us which shows itself in some way or the other.Not necessarily when you play,or jump,or scream.Your childishness could be seen in many other ways.

After the movie was over,there was this smile on my face that refused to fade away.I still dont know why was it there.I felt at peace for some moments,very content.It was as though there was happiness in my aura which failed to leave me.Utter bliss.

Probably it was the music or the art maybe.The houses in the movie were very ethnic,artistic.Walls painted with very random colours not stereotyped at all.The curtains that hung at the windows swang in the air showcasing their pastel colours.But what hit me the most was the photography.Shades of the sea,Mumbai lanes,old catholic houses.wrinkled-faced old ladies,footwears,intense eyes,the waves..Oh it was amazing...

The movie takes you with it on a lovely voyage..to a world of dreams,randomness,idleness..to a world of fantasies,ideas,innovation..to a world of colours,art,ethinicity..to a world of beauty,pleasure,passion...to a world of laziness,with no aspirations,with no targets,to sheer fun & enjoyment,to a world of 'live every moment'...

Some movies just touch my heart..Sometimes people ask me,"Whats the big deal with this? Its such a simple movie wit an actor playing "a boy -next -door"kinda character!"But I say to them,open your eyes to randomness..There might not be a big deal with anything for that matter,but sometimes we need to widen our thoughts to simple pleasures & beauty of life and that happens when you start appreciating!!

Travel to a forest

I have been planning since a long time to go to a forest.I have been to a many but not in the recent past.Hence was wanting to experience the magic once again.

And at last I made it with 2 of my other friends last weekend.Actually we started with 10 but ended up with the 3 of us.The small number didnt matter at all since our intention to go there was to go away from the civilisation & experience the silence.

We went to this forest near Dandeli named Ganeshgudi-a remote forest in the state of Karnataka.We started with a bus ride from Kolhapur to Belgaum.Then took another bus to a village called Khanapur.This is when the greenery began,the cold air filled the atmosphere.From Khanapur, we took another bus to Ramnagar. From there we took a jeep to Ganeshgudi. I cannot forget that ride ever.We entered the forest territory when we left Ramnagar.Oh!It was beautiful.The noise of the city was replaced by the chirping of the birds.Suddenly there was some kinda freshness in the air.It was a narrow winding road with trees on both the sides.It was raining,foggy & hence was very cool.The driver dropped us on the highway.Our resort lay half a kilometre from the road inside the forest.Oh it was fabulous.

There were these cottages built amidst the trees, giving us the feel of the natural habitat,taking us back to the old times.The mobile phones had no coverage.I so liked that.We went for a walk in the forest in the evening.Saw the second largest dam in India-Supa dam-on our way back.Also saw many birds along the way.The tiny droplets on the leaves of the trees was a beautiful sight.

We were in the forest for just a day but that 1 day was a stress-buster & very relaxing.Sometimes devoting a day or 2 every month entirely to nature can work wonders.Pure bliss!

Hunt for certainty...

Aa raha paas ya door main ja raha,janu na main hu kaha pe...Very beautiful lyrics of the song "dooriya" from the movie "Love aaj kal"..After listening to this song 4 times continuously, I was obligated to reveal my comments & my thoughts..I loved the movie..I guess it is meant for my generation..It displays this turmoil that is constantly going on between your mind & your heart.

In this race for success & prosperity, for money & career, we sometimes, tend to compromise with our sentiments.The youth is emotional,has feelings but sometimes it is considered "not cool".One keeps his/her emotions aside because your head is out-powering your heart. Your head tells you to be pragmatic, to think rationally & you take decisions; not knowing that you are compromising on a lot.

Its like that golden gate, that luxury or that career that seems sometimes so attractive & tempting that you supress your heart, feeling that it will all be okay & that this is the 21st century,time to get real & practical.

But it doesnt always work.Sooner or later you do realise that what you are running away from, you have unknowingly carried it with you,all along the way.The more you part with something, the more difficult it gets. So what should one do in such cases?Hmm....Even I dont know..Guess leave it at it..!!!

The best you can do is probably just set yourself free coz the more you hold yourself or enclose in a shell, the more complicated things would get.So set your mind free.Let it wander for a while,get some fresh air,sort out your entangled thoughts,re-organise them & then it would surely come back to you!!! As someone has rightly said, time is the best medicine. But I feel, "you" have a major role to play too!!!

Going down the memory lane....

Monsoons,cold,chilly mornings,steaming cup of coffee are so associated with memories,nostalgia..Memories of your childhood,of growing up,of your school,of your first stage performance,of your hostel,the late night maggi sessions,bunking classes,movies,friends...So many...

And I guess the time you start realising this or begin going down the memory lane is when it dawns upon you that you are growing up,getting independent,are responsible for your actions,working,earning...And trust me you do not like it that much...

You then want to be that kid again with no worries,with no fears of the world,with no complicated people to deal with..All you had to do was finish your homework,drink a cup of bournvita & go to play..Life was so simple then...I remember sneaking into my mother's room,opening her cupboard & quietly draping her saree,wearing her heels & playing teacher-teacher all day long on sundays.I used to even keep my old notebooks in place, in order to be able to check them,give remarks.My father had bought me a duster,chalks & a blackboard,that was always hanging on the wall of my room.One of my other favourite things as a kid was playing the beauty parlour game.And my only loyal customer throughout, used to be my dad.He never ever denied to be the victim of my experiments & face tortures.I used to tie his hair(even though it was difficult to do that,with such little hair) I never gave up & neither did he;apply my mom's lipstick,talcom powder & there he was..Appearing/pretending to be very content with his beautician & in return give a kiss on my cheek & some paper notes which had some numbers written on them.We called that money:-) I really admired & still do my dad's patience & his enthusiasm which would put a teenager to shame.He would & is still so full of exuberance.I remember,when he used to return back home from work all tired,the moment he used to see me & my sister he would get all geared up & pamper us with our demands.He still does that.

I am so previledged to have such a cool father.He was a kid when me & my sister were young and now he is a friend to us.I remember having my first glass of wine with him when I turned 18 and believe me he was the one who said I could.

I really admire & look upto him for so many things- his benevolence, his respect for my mother, his genuine concern, not just towards human beings but also animals & above all for the genuine person that he is.He is not very good with words but his eyes,his gentle touch radiates inexplicable warmth & never-ending love for his beloved ones.

And now after living by myself I hate to be called independent because there is still this little kid in me who still wants to be dependent on her parents,ask them or take their permission for the smallest of things..I dont feel prepared to take my own decisions because that reminds of being independent & start of a life/venture away from home,away from my family..

I guess its time to bring my wandering mind back in place,to face this reality but some things like these simple pleasures,memories would never change & I would not let any time phase,age,distance take that away from me...

Paranoia

I wanted to write for a long time now but was wondering what should I blog about. And what better than the current hot topic reigning & ruining our lives: H1N1 virus
The mere utterance of this virus brings nausea to me. I mean I understand the seriousness of it but there is nothing to get paranoid about. It is just a simple flu. The only difference being that it is not very common & was unheard of in India. People around getting unnecessaily hyper makes the atmosphere really tense. I was home last weekend & when I reached the outskirts of Pune, the city reminded me of the epidemic here. Alomost everyone was seen wearing a mask, even the autowallas, people walking on the streets, car drivers, everyone. Thats when it dawned on me that the city is indeed scared.
I really think the reason behind this hype & tension is the media. Flashy headlines, back & forth display of the same news, scary reporters with their terrifying & panicky news readings is making matters worse. It is making people, who are quite calm & composed, worry.
It is just a matter of time when people would get immuned to this disease as well & summon the courage to fight this battle against SWINE FLU. Common we cannot let hideous pigs create a ruckus in our lives!!!

Persuit of happiness....

What does one really want?I am not using the word "need",but want!!You might "need" the basic necessities of life but "want"?Perhaps that is asking for a little more joy,more pleasure,more luxury,more belongingness,more care,more kindness,more love.Yes thats what it is.This world has a limited supply and a little less space for these emotions,I guess.

Or let me put it this way.There is too much love when you actually not looking for it (Wonder why would anyone not want love, but anyway) and suddenly it is all desserted & desolated when you crave for it the most.It amuses me,the way life functions or should I say,makes you witness the harsh reality??

I have met people who have everything but are too busy planning their career,expecting a perfect life,setting explicit ideals (at the stake of their happiness & their contentment) in search of I don't know what.In this hunt for more one forgets that the competition is not with the world but with self.We have to face our own selves in the mirror,should be able to meet our own eyes.

In this hustle bustle, take a moment to stop & just look around.At the beautiful sky,the new flower that is swinging in your garden,the unconditional love of your dog,the proud feeling in the eyes of your parents when you did something nice,the watchman who salutes you everytime you come in or go out.I guess we have taken a lot of things for granted.There is no perfect world or a perfect man.It is these small things that matter & make it all perfect.