Cant figure out anything...Really...Is it just me or the whole generation..I dont know...I am not sure what I want in life..As in I am content and all..But sometimes I feel, is that I am expecting a little 2 much..And that it is impractical 2 hav a fantasy world of yours..Have dreams that 'might' not be accomplished..Live in the perfect world of yours..I know it doesnt sound rational..But then a voice inside me refuses 2 come out of this fictious world..
I wish for a certain thing and when it happens I am not happy..I mean I should be happy coz I wished for that 2 happen..I dread shouldering responsibility sometimes..What is wrong with me??What do I want?
Sitting in my office, when I look outside the window the cloudy weather & the arrival of monsoon makes me sad..Why, when infact I love rains..Why do you feel happy at one time & suddenly feel low...
Something is incomplete..Something missing...
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Thoughts...
A rainy day...a window pane....steaming cup of tea...a book...and a beautiful countryside... Sounds so exciting and so soothing...I often wonder, how it must be to live a life away from the civilization, away from the city's hustle-bustle, away from the constant buzz of the mobile phones, away from the tensions & worries, away from the corporate ethics, the etiquettes..a land far far away...
I often dream of a mud house in a remote area surrounded by coconout trees, long narrow lanes, chirping of the birds, sound of the waves, fragrance of the wet soil...A land with no network coverage..A land that will make you hear the silence...Where you would never be betrayed..never be hurt..Where you don't have to wear a false smile and transform yourself into a stranger, who you do not recognize...A land where you can embrace the earth, fall asleep peacefully and never feel scared...
Then a sudden horn on the road, wakes me up and reminds me that, this is where I belong.. This is my home, my abode..It makes me realise that life can never be perfect, never be ideal...
I often dream of a mud house in a remote area surrounded by coconout trees, long narrow lanes, chirping of the birds, sound of the waves, fragrance of the wet soil...A land with no network coverage..A land that will make you hear the silence...Where you would never be betrayed..never be hurt..Where you don't have to wear a false smile and transform yourself into a stranger, who you do not recognize...A land where you can embrace the earth, fall asleep peacefully and never feel scared...
Then a sudden horn on the road, wakes me up and reminds me that, this is where I belong.. This is my home, my abode..It makes me realise that life can never be perfect, never be ideal...
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
A Goodbye I would never forget!!!
It was a breezy monsoon evening...An evening I dreaded the most..An evening I was not looking forward to...An evening I thought arrived a little too early...An evening when I had to bid farewell to my angel,my little sister,I love the most...
She came to Mumbai with my parents..A little excitement on her face as she was to experience a whole new life in a whole new country but a lot of nervousness to face it all..I avoided looking into those eyes which had so many questions,which were just about to burst..
The whole evening we made conversation which was not called for at that moment,which made no sense and was irrelevant..I cracked some silly jokes which I later realised were very stupid..She spoke about the weather,about their drive from home,about Mumbai's traffic..Was it necessary?Of course not..We were just avoiding 'The Goodbye Talk'.
And the time to go to the airport finally arrived.I haven't understood till date as to why does the time fly so quickly when you do not want it to?And otherwise it just refuses to move.We all went to the airport.I kept telling her that she would like it there and that time would just fly very quickly and that she would be home soon.I was actually assuring and consoling myself rather than giving her the strength.
And then she left.She was gone.I saw her walking past the crowd,waving at us,wiping her eyes and forcing a smile on her face."I would be just fine di.Don't worry about me.Just take care of aai-baba",she kept saying.That was when I realised that my little sister was not little anymore.She had grown into a beautiful lady.I felt so proud.
She almost disappeared in the crowd.And then it struck me like a bolt of lightening that she has gone.As in,gone.I would not see her for a long time now.
My mother burst into tears.My father kept looking elsewhere to hide his emotions which were flowing from his eyes.I held myself back fom crying.I could'nt afford to actually.I had to be strong for my parents.But once they left home and I reached my hostel,I let myself free...
She came to Mumbai with my parents..A little excitement on her face as she was to experience a whole new life in a whole new country but a lot of nervousness to face it all..I avoided looking into those eyes which had so many questions,which were just about to burst..
The whole evening we made conversation which was not called for at that moment,which made no sense and was irrelevant..I cracked some silly jokes which I later realised were very stupid..She spoke about the weather,about their drive from home,about Mumbai's traffic..Was it necessary?Of course not..We were just avoiding 'The Goodbye Talk'.
And the time to go to the airport finally arrived.I haven't understood till date as to why does the time fly so quickly when you do not want it to?And otherwise it just refuses to move.We all went to the airport.I kept telling her that she would like it there and that time would just fly very quickly and that she would be home soon.I was actually assuring and consoling myself rather than giving her the strength.
And then she left.She was gone.I saw her walking past the crowd,waving at us,wiping her eyes and forcing a smile on her face."I would be just fine di.Don't worry about me.Just take care of aai-baba",she kept saying.That was when I realised that my little sister was not little anymore.She had grown into a beautiful lady.I felt so proud.
She almost disappeared in the crowd.And then it struck me like a bolt of lightening that she has gone.As in,gone.I would not see her for a long time now.
My mother burst into tears.My father kept looking elsewhere to hide his emotions which were flowing from his eyes.I held myself back fom crying.I could'nt afford to actually.I had to be strong for my parents.But once they left home and I reached my hostel,I let myself free...
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